Hello Hello!
My inner teen is currently doing a celebration dance!
Why? Because I’ve always wanted a blog, thank God I never had one in my teenage angst years.
Now I get to fulfill that desire AND connect with you!
If you’ve come across this blog I imagine you are either at the beginning of your motherhood journey or recognizing that there are alternative ways of approaching pregnancy, birth, and motherhood and the internet is a glorious way of learning about what options are out there for you!
Either way, welcome to my little corner of the internet!
Now you must be wondering, who is Ana and do I want to keep reading this blog?
I could go with the cliche “Here are 5 things to know about me” but rather I’m going to share a story that forever changed the path I was on in helping new moms.
I was a birth doula before I ever experienced pregnancy, labor, and motherhood. I could give you birth rate statistics, labor positions, and resources galore. I had the perfect pregnancy/birth plan ever. It was the golden calve of prenatal plans.
Prenatal massage, acupuncture, prenatal yoga, birth doula, midwife, home birth, belly blessing, chiropractic, pregnancy photoshoot, my Pinterest board of cute pregnancy outfits.
I giggle now because a month into my pregnancy when the food aversions and smell sensitivities were kicking in so did the pandemic. My perfect pregnancy plan was thrown out the window.
Hello telehealth. My doula was stuck in Brazil. My family stayed away from me because no one wanted to be the person that got the pregnant woman sick. I was isolated, lost and in yoga pants 24/7 (lets me honest pants were optional those days)!
My training had lead me to believe 2 prenatal sessions, 1 postpartum check in and my full presence during labor was all a pregnant woman needed to prepare for birth, postpartum and motherhood.
So how did I, a birth nerd, trained birthworker with a long-term desire of holding my daughter, find myself struggling at 2am in December with a 2 month old itching in my own skin to run away and admit I made a mistake?
My pregnancy plan had been thrown out the window, my homebirth had become a hospital transfer, I didn’t think to plan for my postpartum journey, and I was faking a smile every time anyone asked about my daughter.
What about me? Who’s going to ask about me?
At that moment I had a Scrooge moment. A journey down two potential paths.
On the one hand, I could simply survive. I’d made a comment to family members who gave birth within the past 5 years about how I was struggling and I’d been told they'd been there too, it'll pass. No tips, no advice, no offers of support. Simply “I went through that too. You’ll survive.”
(Side note: I don't blame them, truly if all you know in your morning commute is bumper-to-bumper traffic on the highway and colleagues who sympathize with that same traffic, how are you supposed to know about the smoother, scenic country road that's also available?)
I could survive my postpartum journey and motherhood. Stop supporting women and mothers. Throw in the towel and wallow in the guilt of letting myself down and being a fraud in the birth and motherhood community.
Or I could go on a journey of finding the smoother, scenic country road. I could face the thoughts and emotions that were causing me to feel like I was drowning. I could begin to understand my mind so that it could be my best friend rather than my worst enemy.
I chose the latter. It was messy, it was rough. But now that I am on the scenic road with the windows open enjoying the breeze and hearing my daughter sing at the top of her lungs babyshark over and over and over again. I’m glad I chose this path.
If you choose to follow this blog, my intention is to share with you the tools and resources that helped me go from overwhelmed, exhausted, guilt ridden to calm, peace-filled and actually excited to support my toddler as she learns to regulate her emotions. I promise to not gloss over the struggles that arise, and to share what steps are possible.
This blog will be about supporting you through pregnancy, birth and motherhood. Because the way I see it is, if you are cared for, supported, and heard then you are well nourished and if you are nourished then you are able to nourish your baby. So (with all the love in the world) who cares how the baby is doing, how are you doing?
With love,
Ana Munoz
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